Published on December 14th, 2008 | by greg

We’ve Moved On: Failed Musical Comebacks of 2008

A music blog needs a dose of bile just to add a bit of variety to the proceedings. In this case, there have been several bands that I thought we would never see or hear from again. All of these bands have outlived their usefulness, and they definitely have a time and place in the history of Rock and Roll. The musicians that have earned the dubious honor of wearing out their welcome this year reads like the nominee list to a retirement home. The list includes the following musicians all attempting one final hurrah or cash grab : The Smashing Pumpkins, Guns N’ Roses, Metallica, Alanis Morissette, Oasis and R.E.M.

The Smashing Pumpkins

The Smashing Pumpkins ceased to exist in the original lineup about 12 years ago. Despite creative differences and an obvious lack of decent material, the band resurfaced last year with the abysmal ‘Zeitgeist’ album. Desperate to wring all the cash out of the remaining fans pockets, Billy Corgan and Jimmy Chamberlain soldiered forth on a botched reunion tour. Performances were less than inspired and attracted more entertaining hecklers, but still the music press seemed to cling to this band as if Corgan was capable of creating anything listenable.

Guns N’ Roses

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As recently as five years ago, Guns N’ Roses became W. Axl Rose, Inc. Rose had promised the fabled ‘Chinese Democracy’ album and finally delivered 14 years after his band became defunct and irrelevant. The album did not live up to its initial sales hype although it has sold a respectable amount of copies. Axl Rose has remained reclusive about the album fostering his Citizen Kane reputation and has withheld a majority of interviews to support this release claiming it as “just an album.” Maybe “Chinese Democracy” will become his “Rosebud.”

Metallica

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Metallica attempted to make a comeback as apologists this year dismissing their St. Anger album and the string of rotten music that preceded it. Metallica promised a return to their roots of speed metal on ‘Death Magnetic’ a bad album with an even worse title. Rick Rubin’s production stripped away whatever charm that was left with this band and replaced it with a shiny retro sheen of guitar wankery and general bullshit. Fans clamored that you still couldn’t hear the bass and the album sounded like crap. Metallica responded with their tough shit attitude and continued to shop on Rodeo Drive.

Alanis Morissette

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Remember her? I don’t.

Oasis

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These tuneless tune smiths won’t ever go away. They continue to pilfer all of their melodies from better bands and milk their celebrity status for all its worth. Now that Blur has reformed maybe they can start another feud. Until then, they remain about relevant as they always have, which is to say, not much.

R.E.M

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R.E.M should have disbanded as promised in 1999. Since their drummer left in 1996, R.E.M has become an “Art” pop band that focuses on Michael Stipe’s woes and in the process has consistently alienated their core audience. Attempting to fill their contractual obligations, R.E.M released their latest stillborn album, “Accelerate” to an audience that could not care less. At least R.E.M has a decent pre-1995 back catalog to rely upon for future album sales.

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