Is that pee on that chair? No, it’s just sweat!
Summer is here. Yay? Time to sweat in balmy, humid, pollution filled heat and watch lovely ladies prance around like they are selling baked sausages on the inside of their skin tight denim shorts. And if you happen to live anywhere in the nation other than LA or NYC or the few other similarly culturally diverse areas, then chances are there isn’t that much cool stuff to do. In your average, nothing special city in America, what is out there in the summer?
- Amusement Parks- Spending an ungodly amount on flat sodas and greasy three day old pizza just to let it sour in your stomach while boiling under the hot sun? Makes a great concoction for vomiting on your fellow theme park enjoyers…which can be somewhat amusing.
- Swimming- No matter if you have a pool in the backyard or you are paying for the unnoticeable upkeep for a community one…how long can this entertain an adult? I have a limit with this and it’s somewhere right before being burned to a crisp and after letting my penis looking like a grape.
- Parks- Mmmm, nature. This is good for romantic afternoons or for scholarly fellows on an ivy league campus. But if I sit down on some random grass, there better be something there to entertain me or chances are I am falling asleep. And why would I want to sleep on the ground when I have a nice cool bed at home? Exactly.
- Barbeque- Saucy meat and mayo dripping potato salad created to force neighbors and distant family members to sweat together and gain ten pounds in one setting. No thanks.
- Concerts- I will not say that I do not have fond memories of laying out on pavilion lawns in order to participate in viewing a few decent bands. Flash forward to the present day and you get the same uncomfortable lawn, priced over quadrupled what it used to, with the most untalented acts that can be conjured. Sorry if I just don’t see the same fun filled events that I used to in this.
Prove me wrong. What exciting cool soaked events do you have lined up for this summer? Oh and by the way, leveling your WoW toon does not count.
g.
